It IS a Happy New Year. It is interesting how we set it up with the manmade concept of time to give ourselves the illusion of a new beginning every 365 days. It’s a good thing for sure, but since it’s all made up we could do it any time we want. Are we any different one minute after midnight than we were the minute before? Nothing changed that led up to that minute, except our minds and the stories we tell ourselves about it. Still it is a good practice to have once a year to let the past go and move on into a new paradigm.
If we truly want to live in the new model, and follow through with those new year’s resolutions (which I don’t make) it’s about making every day a new day and practice turning over and letting go of whatever held us back yesterday.
For me I started several days, weeks, months ago. I set an intention for what my life will be like in 2014 and then I began to take steps to create the vision. I am already well on my way as the new year begins, because it’s not just about one magical turn-again moment, it’s about making every moment a turn-again moment.
I do that by being as vigilant as possible about watching my thoughts, because there are a lot of automatic unconscious thoughts from the past that we all have. The majority of them really no longer serve us and it’s time to let go of the past. Only our mind doesn’t know that, or know how. The mind has been trained to think these repetitive thoughts by all the years it was modeled for us, drilled into us, and we practiced what others told us because surely they must be right. What do I know? I’m just the little baby sister.
So this seems like a blog post waiting to happen. Maybe today is the day I burst into the public with my Morning Pages. Let the world know what things I ruminate on in my first hour of the day. After all, I’m publishing a book about how I healed holistically and in order to be authentic it must reveal holistically how I became so ill. Then these are the baby steps. Interesting that the baby of the family is taking her baby steps of breaking out of the family paradigm. I’m stepping into the light of the world to BE Grace, become the person I was created to be and live out my purpose on this planet, regardless of “what will they think.”
Besides, who knows who will even take the time to read this? Most of my followers follow me because they like me, they think I have something good to share with the world, and I do. But not everybody agrees with me and that is okay, too. There are major relationships in my life that ended in 2013 and others that have been changed forever. I will do my best to operate from a new paradigm with them, if and when I encounter them again. What I have learned from it is that some people cannot go down this road with me, in fact they may not even be able to hear or see who I am becoming. The changes I have made in my life over the past five years have been so wide and varied that it may be incomprehensible to some who have known me most of my life. Some may be holding me hostage in their head to the idea they have of me from the past, but that’s not who I am now.
Here’s the deal, I’m going down the road to personal freedom. If anyone is ready to do that too, then I’m happy to have them as travelling companions. If they are not, that’s okay, too. I know the kind of personal work I do and the work I do teaching others is not for the faint hearted. It takes a lot of courage to clear away the wreckage of our past on an unconscious level, but if you really want what I have, this is the best way I’ve found to get it. It doesn’t mean it is the only way, it’s the way that works for me. And others get to find the way that works for them, or not search at all; it’s their choice. Many people are content to live their entire lives on automatic pilot. They don’t take responsibility for what they create with their thoughts, they may say, “That’s just the way I am and accept that.”
Self-acceptance is a good thing; we each do the best we can. I practiced self-acceptance and surrender regularly during three years of disability. I still believed deep down that I would find a way to heal, because I was determined not to live the rest of my life in that condition. I found a balance between those two practices. I was aware and observed my thoughts regularly, how they triggered my emotions, how my emotions triggered sensations and symptoms in my body, how that changed my behaviors and choices and what I thought and felt about that. I watched the entire human system at work within me for three years before I found the skills to help me effectively take personal control of the system, heal and create what I want in my life.
Five years later, my life today is miraculous, magnificent, a creation beyond my wildest dreams. Yes, setting goals and having dreams are good, but if I had held myself to what I imagined (in the six inches of gray matter in my head) I would have settled for so much less. What I have now is from allowing the infinite field of possibilities to present a cosmic buffet of choices. It is miraculous, magnificent, marvelous, and getting better and better every day in every way.
This highway is available to anyone willing to do the work I have done. It’s simple work, but not always easy. That’s where I can help shine the light on the path for you. I’ve been where you are and I’m a few steps further down the path. I know some of the bumps in the road and I’m here to help you over them. And yes, I still hit bumps in the road, too, but I’m better now at getting past them.
The place to start is always, “Become the silent, non-judging, non-objecting observer of your thoughts.”
© B. Grace Jones 2014 All Rights Reserved.