How do I encapsulate such an amazingly huge presence of love, hope, passion and peace that Linda Esser embodied? It is absolutely beyond words. Yet words are what I was asked to create, so I humbly do my best.
Our sweet Linda Esser honored me and Susan Bradley by allowing us to assist her in her transition into perfect healing and eternal love. Every step I take is with gratitude for her life and passion for FasterEFT. I was able to care for Linda in ways that gave me the certainty that I have now fully recovered from my disability. Thanks be to God, Linda Esser, Robert Smith and my willingness to tap every day.
Linda has been my dear sweet friend and mentor since 1989 and I considered it one of my highest honors to assist her in her last days and hours. Linda stayed true to herself every moment. The next day I sat endlessly, either on the phone or at my computer, receiving a steady stream of emails, FaceBook comments and phone calls. So many wonderful words expressed, I wish there were time to share them all with you, but they are still pouring in. Here are three of my favorites.
“She may no longer be visible on this planet, yet she remains a light in the universe.”
“what a celebration there must have been in welcoming home such a spiritual warrior…”
“Even as my heart is heavy with sadness, I am also full of new hope and joy at the prospect of living a life worth living. I know Linda’s passing will mean different things to different people, but for me, it has been a reminder that *I* must give my life the meaning, the passion and the joy that I so crave. To create the Life of my dreams…
In Linda’s death, she breathes New Life.”
The most repeated comment was, “I’m shocked! What happened?” I wish the answer were as simple as, “She was diagnosed with fourth stage cancer in early January and was released to Hospice Care.” But for anyone who witnessed Linda’s passion for healing and remarkable skills as a FasterEFT Master Practitioner, we can’t help but explore other answers. Based on our conversations and observations, those of us closest to Linda have our theories, but this is not the time or place for that. I will be writing some of those thoughts to post on my blog. When I do, I hope you will join the conversation and shed whatever light you might give, so that we all may try to understand. If it helps one other person to live better, it will truly honor Linda.
My heart goes out to each and every one of you. We are here today because of Linda’s mission to “Honor All.” She has fulfilled her purpose and she has definitely honored each one of us. Many of us have regrets, maybe that we didn’t spend more time with her. Sometimes that was hard because she was most often working on a project she was passionate about.
One of my regrets is that I never went to see her in the “Trashion Fashion Show,” one of her beloved C.A.S.T. projects. Two years ago, I was staying with her the week before, but couldn’t stay for the event. It was great fun to see the stylish dresses made out of chip bags, or some other particles of trash, and hear the excitement in her voice as she told me exactly how she would accessorize it. A year ago, I was visiting with her after the show and she told me about how everybody there wanted to talk to her. She said, “You know, I may just have to wear trash more often.” Of course, we all know it wasn’t her eclectic fashions that drew people to her, it was her radiant smile, her deeply warm love and her boundless enthusiasm for whatever she was doing in the moment.
In the 90s after my divorce, I told her I was longing to find my “soul mate.” Linda said, “You know, I truly believe that my soul mate is always right in front of me. My purpose is to love whoever I am with at any given moment.” We are all Linda’s soul mates. Even in her last days of waning physical strength, I watched Linda intently listen and talk to the nurse she had just met. They were not talking about Linda, they were talking about the nurse. As the nurse was leaving the house she told me, “It’s just not fair. I wish I could have met her years ago.” We did. We were the fortunate ones. All of us who knew her, or even met her one time are blessed beyond words.
I have experienced for many years that nature is a powerful healing force. I pay attention when a creatures shows up in my life. That is why I am also known as Denali Dragonfly. In 2005 I had a Cardinal hit the windshield directly in front of my sight. That led me to study and learn that if a creature gives it’s life, it has a very important message to deliver. I had been caring for Linda for several days, when one night, sitting on the edge of her bed, I looked up and saw for the first time the Cardinal ornament on her nightstand. Instantly I recognized the metaphor. I knew with certainty that Linda is my Cardinal and signals my need to understand and deliver the important messages I was receiving from her. On Friday she was still lucid and chose to wear a cardinal red shirt after her bath. Saturday when the nurse encouraged her to change her shirt, she refused. Linda passed wearing the cardinal red shirt and confirmed the metaphor.
In my mind, I can hear Linda’s voice say, “I love you.” I can hear her playful laugh and see her radiant smile eclipse her eclectic fashions. We must feel it to heal it. Honor your feelings, whatever comes up, release it completely and go to your happiest memory of Linda. These are the good gifts we get to keep, forever loving Linda. Linda IS a bright and sparkling star in each of our lives. Linda’s legacy will live on in our hearts, minds and spirits. We each have a piece of her with us and we can now choose to keep that piece in the emotional peace she achieved.
As she departed, Linda participated in the releasing and letting go process that created inner peace in her life and in many of ours. We honor her and we “Honor All” as we continue to release our grief and create inner peace, which will resound in the world peace that she so passionately promoted. Linda has transformed from our physical presence, but her spiritual presence will always be surrounding us with her love, laughter, passion and radiant light. Linda will always be My Healing Star.
© Copyright B. Grace Jones 2011